When it comes to raising children, the word “discipline” often gets a bad rap.
But discipline is not only beneficial for your child—it’s essential. Without it, there would be no growth, no perseverance, no resilience, and no structure to help guide them through life.
The Role of Self-Discipline
Self-discipline is key to personal fulfillment, growth, achievement, self-regulation, and self-reflection. It helps children learn to manage their behavior, persevere through challenges, and develop the skills they need to progress. So, if you ask me, “Is discipline good for my child?” my answer is a resounding YES.
The Real Question: Where Does Your Discipline Come From?
While discipline is important, the way you approach it matters tremendously. Is your discipline coming from a place of anger, frustration, or overwhelm? Or is it coming from a mindset of leadership and guidance?
Discipline that stems from anger or anxiety often turns into yelling, criticism, threats, and punishment. While this may seem to get immediate results, it doesn’t foster the long-term growth or resilience I know you want for your child. On the other hand, discipline that comes from a place of mentorship, guidance, and support helps your child develop critical coping skills and emotional intelligence.
Two Types of Discipline: Control vs. Leadership
Consider the difference between these two approaches to discipline:
- Control-based Discipline: Do as I say or else! This type of discipline may force compliance, but it doesn’t teach your child the skills they need to navigate challenges or regulate their emotions.
- Leadership-based Discipline: Yes, you do need to do as I say. Not all the time. but a lot of the time. This is because I know what’s best for you because I have more life experience, and I can see the bigger picture in a way you can’t yet. Even though it’s hard, I’m here to guide and support you, until you are ready to do more on your own. This mindset shifts discipline away from control and toward teaching and nurturing your child’s development.
While this mental shift won’t always be easy (we all have tough days where we lose it), it can drastically change how you approach discipline and, more importantly, how your child responds to it.
Why Discipline Isn’t About You
This might sound harsh, but it’s true: Discipline is not about you and your feelings. It’s about guiding your child to become the person you know they are capable of being. The less you focus on your own emotions—anger, frustration, anxiety—and the more you focus on your role as a grounded leader, the more effective your discipline will be.
The goal isn’t to be a perfect parent—because perfection doesn’t exist. The goal is to better understand your role and how you can best support your child’s development. You’re going to try, fail, learn, and try again. But with every step, you’re getting closer to becoming the parent your child needs.
How to Approach Discipline with Confidence
If you’re unsure how to implement discipline that comes from a place of leadership and guidance, you’re not alone. Many parents struggle with this, and that’s why I’ve developed my parenting courses, where I provide practical tools and strategies for:
- Setting clear and effective boundaries
- Managing pushback and resistance
- Building self-awareness and coping skills in your child
- Increasing cooperation and connection within your family
These courses offer real solutions that you can start using immediately, and they come with lifetime access and a one-year money-back guarantee, so there’s zero risk.
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