How often do you find yourself yelling across the room for your child to do something?
“Put your shoes on!”
“Brush your teeth!”
“Let’s go, we’re late!”
It’s completely understandable. You’re juggling a hundred things – packing lunches, answering emails, folding laundry, feeding the dog – and sometimes, shouting across the house feels like the only option.
But here is one big idea I want all parents to know: when we rely on distant commands and raised voices, we unintentionally make it harder for our children to listen… and for us to stay calm.
There’s a small yet powerful shift you can make that changes this dynamic entirely.
Get close.
Why Proximity Matters
I know you can’t do this every single time. Life is busy. But as often as you can, walk over to your child, get on their level, touch their arm or shoulder, make eye contact, smile.
And only then, in a clear and direct tone, let them know what you want them to do. No questions, just clear statements.
You might even whisper it. Yes, whispering can be a surprisingly effective way to get a child’s attention because whispering creates curiosity, intimacy, and requires focus to hear. It pulls them in, rather than pushing them away.
Closeness Builds Connection
Your physical presence creates a strong sensory and emotional connection.
It helps your child:
- Hear you more clearly
- Feel seen and respected
- Understand that you mean what you say
And when children feel connected, they’re more likely to cooperate.
After you’ve made the request, stay close. Don’t give the instruction and immediately walk away, hoping it lands. Your continued presence matters. It shows your child you really do mean business.
You might say:
“Yes, I know you don’t feel like doing it. I get that. Still, it’s time. Go ahead. You can do it, right now.”
“Even if it feels hard… even if you don’t want to, this is what we’re doing. I know you can handle it. Let’s go.”
You’re right there with them, keeping you both on task and staying grounded throughout.
You Might Be Thinking: “I Don’t Have Time for This”
I get it. It may feel like this approach will slow you down. And yes, in the beginning, it might take a bit of getting used to. But ask yourself this:
How much time are you already spending repeating yourself, raising your voice, and dealing with resistance?
Getting close is an upfront investment that pays off in lasting ways. You’re not just trying to get through the next five minutes, you’re building trust, respect, and long-term cooperation.
Because let’s be honest: yelling from the kitchen usually leads to frustration on both sides. But kneeling beside your child, making eye contact, and calmly guiding them? That’s where real progress happens.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need to fix everything, be perfect, or never call out to your child from across the house again. But when you can, take those extra few seconds to walk over and get close. That small shift creates a big ripple effect, not just for the task at hand, but for your entire relationship and your child’s ongoing cooperation.
The more connected your child feels to you, the more likely they are to listen, respond, and follow through, because they feel you’re on the same team. And they understand that you really do mean what you say.
Cooperation isn’t forced. It’s built one moment at a time.
For more practical, real-life tools to reduce resistance and increase cooperation, check out my parenting courses. You’ll find strategies for managing transitions, emotional outbursts, power struggles, lying, screaming and so much more – all tailored to your child’s age and personality.
👉 Explore the courses here and find the one that’s right for you.
Say What You Mean: The Power of Authentic Communication in Parenting
The Power of Doing Less
